Zak’s Friend Test: Harsh or Useful?

If you ever want to talk with smart people about life in Second Life, the metaverse and everything, head to Thinkers Discussion, held every Tuesday at 530pm SLT. It’s moderated lightly by Extropia DaSilva, a futurist who thinks way, way above me but has a great sense of humor and manages to keep a diverse group of people with strongly held opinions more or less on track. The topics tend to be abstract or esoteric — the next one is “Is Science Failing?” — but they occasionally touch ground, like last week when people discussed what keeps SL from moving from being a dream to reality.

Most people jumped on SL’s technical failings. For me, the people are both SL’s greatest asset and its biggest blight. Just think how nice SL would be if everybody managed to keep their inner jerks on a short leash. It made me think of the checklist my friend Zak has compiled and which he runs through to decide whether a new acquaintance is worth getting to know. After almost a year of being in SL, I think his ideas have merit. Plus, I passed the test.

How would you do? Here are his requirements plus two of my own:

1. No wearing lots of bling. Or at least turn it off. Shoes, belt, rings and earrings by themselves might; wearing them all at once is annoying.
2. Be a fast typer. No more than 1 or 2 “So-and-so is typing…” alerts in the IM box please.
3. No particle emitters or chat spammers. Please. Running around with that giant spliff you got in a freebie box that announces itself every few seconds in chat is beyond old.
4. A fast, reliable computer that doesn’t crash every 10 minutes and lets you run SL as close to the ideal experience as possible.
5. Be able to spell at least semi-properly and use capitalization when necessary. Good writing is good talking in SL. And please, bag the SMS when you can … it takes only a nanosecond more to write “you” instead of “u.”
6. A good sense of humor!
7. A basic understanding of how SL works, so that you know what to do when I ask you to TP me to you.
8. A customized appearance. Okay, I’m shallow. You can be completely fascinating with newbie hair, shape, skin and clothes, but only if you’re less than a week old. If you customize, it tells me you took some time to walk around SL, see how things are done and experiment with the vast array of merchandise your fellow residents have created for you. And maybe I can find out another great shop to visit.
9. A customized profile. Same reasoning again. Plus, if you don’t, you look like a bot or a tourist. Help out your fellow residents by giving them a conversation opener, or list a few shops. Especially shoe stores. (Did I mention I was shallow?)
10. This space intentionally left blank. You must have rules of thumb you use to filter new acquaintances. Tell me what they are! Use the comment blank or IM me in-world. I’ll share them in a future post.